The Portrait of Dorian Grey.

I'm waiting for the sedative to take flight as I've had me a fright. I'm racing towards forty and there's something I need to get off my chest. A grey hair.

I saw this happen on a "Will and Grace" but really didn't know what to do. They used it as a side gag. I was sideways gagging. When I came out of the shower this morning I noticed that my manly chest pate had one white knight in the forest. A grey hair was there. That ain't cool. That ain't going to sell it when you're shirtless at a Gay Pride. What exactly is this indicative of? Oblivion? I was non plussed. I went bald with a fair amount of grace. I shaved my head in the surrender to the only recession anyone will admit to. And I have also cleverly admired the hints of salt and pepper that have come around on my head. I was not prepared for the grey hair.

I fell to the floor, I tend to do this a lot in dramatic effect, comedic timing and too much tequila. I put my hands on my face and pleaded with my vanity (both). "Please tell me that my dance isn't over", "Show me a sign that this will all work out. " As you know, my crazy side gets the better of me on occasion, and the vain side of me is more than skin deep, it's in my veins (yuk, yuk) I pulled out the clippers, as you know a shaved head and a set of balls is de regeur now a days. I was just about to manscape my chest when a little voice said, "I'm the only one here. If you eliminate me now, I'm just going to come back with more friends. Why not make me comfortable here and not see things so black and white. " The little voice then reminded me of my superior pectorals and other attributes, then faded into a Chaka Khan Medley involving, "I'm Every Woman". The clippers went back into the drawer and the chest hair got a little juzge; a little fluffing if you will.

That old grey hair just ain't what it used to be. I can accept it, Life has taught me patience. I'd rather show patience than be a patient. It's actually kind of Tom Selleck-y. I almost plucked it, where was my head? Oh, thinning, that's right.