Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Darren's Wedding.
The second coming of Ryan Seacrest ties the noose/knot this weekend in Anguilla, BWI. I had to google it before I even rsvp'd. So y'all are going to be on your own for sundays 'Rabbit Rabbit' remember to say it and play it loud. We all can use the luck.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day.
Memorial Day, the beginning of the Harvest. One might think that this occurs in the fall but if you're a waitron/server in the industry you understand the importance of the ten weeks between June and August. The harvest is actually the summer where you suffer worse than the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. You 
smile sweetly and track how low the dollar will go as the foreign clientelle continues to darken your doorstep. You witness human behaviors that would shock the monkeyhouse at the zoo. You rationalize post office episodes. You plan escapes and assassinations. Horrors will occur, nightmares will ensue but we put our heads down and work our tails off. There will be rest in September, and maybe even holidays in November but for now it's time to catch the olives falling from shaking trees. It's harvest time.
Happy Memorial to everyone who has kept our country safe over the years, and to all who have made the ultimate sacrifice. We get to do what we do because of you. I hope your day finds you a nice cold whatever and the love and respect you are due.
smile sweetly and track how low the dollar will go as the foreign clientelle continues to darken your doorstep. You witness human behaviors that would shock the monkeyhouse at the zoo. You rationalize post office episodes. You plan escapes and assassinations. Horrors will occur, nightmares will ensue but we put our heads down and work our tails off. There will be rest in September, and maybe even holidays in November but for now it's time to catch the olives falling from shaking trees. It's harvest time.Happy Memorial to everyone who has kept our country safe over the years, and to all who have made the ultimate sacrifice. We get to do what we do because of you. I hope your day finds you a nice cold whatever and the love and respect you are due.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
80 to 1.
Not odds, not odd at all. The Celebration Superhighway has more juice to go this weekend; The Landlady's 8oth birthday and three nephews' 1st birthdays! I'll elaborate............
My new building of one year is owned by a character. A woman of eighty, she's the sibling to eight. She's married four times, as they keep dying "underneath her" she tells me, she runs a
tight ship. At her directives, and the support of backstage cast of patient patients, she's created an serene, homelike environment. The building is amazing with it's topiary, bubbling fountain, matching everything, plants, lazy sleeping cat. It has a pool and very clean garage, too clean sometimes for my dirty truck (sorry, between paying for a car wash and a full tank of gas...) The building has a sense of Barbary Lane, with a little Melrose Place, and of course The Golden Girls. The sense of community is enormous, and so's the sense of pride. It's very family like and private when it needs to be. Tempers flare occasionally but inevitably resolve. This is my new home. The Landlady makes for good stories. She interviewed me on many levels when I first came a calling. Financially, personally, socially, she wanted to make sure I'd fit. I passed. I knew I was being tested and it was at a time I was not wanting to be, but went with my gut. "I'm going to live in that place with the animal/shrubs." "Let's see what this woman is all about," I'd think to myself. I got my keys and entered into my new life. I owe Ginnie the price of admission, but I'd like to think I've provided a couple of great new attractions in this amusement park. Here are some pix of her party.
My nephew (blood) Colin was born on the eighteenth of last year. May was a very tumultuous month last year. My best friend out here got engaged, my sister gave birth and I ended a ten year relationship that had been my base. Everything hit the fan, and settles as we speak. My sister had tried hard to have a third child in her family and was rewarded with the most beautiful boy in the world. I mean it and have the photos to prove it.
Hard work is soooo paid off. I believe this. The side joke in the Family, as there always is one, was whoever was able to guess the date of the birth of the expectant prince would get the 'pot'. Cash was irrelevant at this time in my life, I had just dropped a ton of coin to rebuild my life, I wanted legacy; let the prize be the name. She had decided that the middle name would be Adam, after our grandfather and the first was undecided. I begged her to let me name him Sam. As his full initials would spell out his first name i.e. S.A.M., I thought that would be FIERCE. She would have nothing of this plan, thinking that it would be appalling to name her child Sam Adam(s). She wouldn't have her prince the but of beer jokes. Maybe she couldn't own up to the fact the baby was born under a veil of beer why not document it? Either way, I didn't get the name or the cash. My family.............anyway, Colin is One and beautiful.
My other nephews(non blood) were born on the 27th. Let me explain. I started my life on the west coast (is it one word yet?) in 2001 with a series of small jobs. As the dust settled I searched for a job that I vowed would be "The Last Restaurant I Would Ever Work In Before I Was Successful In The Industry". That's a mouthful, I know. But I meant it. I was determined that I would cultivate a healthy relationship with a restaurant that would negate all the bad ones' prior. I would lay down the law, the sword and the bullshit; all intermittently. I met Robin Hood at this time. You can track him down on my other blog for some history. But Rob and I had each other's backs at 'hello'. It's amazing what the east coast breeds. Oh, now I remember, class. Rob and his lady Kris asked me to marry them, and we did. A most beautiful day. And then we watched their lives grow towards kids. And it did. They had a hell of time getting there, but they did (side note, I was living with them, sitting in our living room at the time, when they got the word from fertility Doctor Hatch-no lie-that they were pg). The pregnancy was met with adversity and lots of prayer. Lots of soup and lots of love went into this birth, it took a village this time around. When I held these two little preemies in my hand I couldn't believe how small Life could be, and how big at the same moment. My friends, the parents, were beyond exhausted at this point, but had achieved the most incredible goal I've yet to witness firsthand. These babies were slightly bigger than corn cobs when we met. Today I got to see them with fifty two weeks under there soon to be Prada belts. Amazing. The only atrocity involved was how I had to see them. Goofy's Kitchen. I can't say any more as it was tough. The lengths we go to for friends.
There's many things to celebrate every month just heading towards December, I feel like we're just filling in the spaces of some karmic bingo card. I will cover all the spaces, I don't even need to win, as long as I'm in the running.
PS My family could send more pictures. I wouldn't mind it.
My new building of one year is owned by a character. A woman of eighty, she's the sibling to eight. She's married four times, as they keep dying "underneath her" she tells me, she runs a
tight ship. At her directives, and the support of backstage cast of patient patients, she's created an serene, homelike environment. The building is amazing with it's topiary, bubbling fountain, matching everything, plants, lazy sleeping cat. It has a pool and very clean garage, too clean sometimes for my dirty truck (sorry, between paying for a car wash and a full tank of gas...) The building has a sense of Barbary Lane, with a little Melrose Place, and of course The Golden Girls. The sense of community is enormous, and so's the sense of pride. It's very family like and private when it needs to be. Tempers flare occasionally but inevitably resolve. This is my new home. The Landlady makes for good stories. She interviewed me on many levels when I first came a calling. Financially, personally, socially, she wanted to make sure I'd fit. I passed. I knew I was being tested and it was at a time I was not wanting to be, but went with my gut. "I'm going to live in that place with the animal/shrubs." "Let's see what this woman is all about," I'd think to myself. I got my keys and entered into my new life. I owe Ginnie the price of admission, but I'd like to think I've provided a couple of great new attractions in this amusement park. Here are some pix of her party.My nephew (blood) Colin was born on the eighteenth of last year. May was a very tumultuous month last year. My best friend out here got engaged, my sister gave birth and I ended a ten year relationship that had been my base. Everything hit the fan, and settles as we speak. My sister had tried hard to have a third child in her family and was rewarded with the most beautiful boy in the world. I mean it and have the photos to prove it.
Hard work is soooo paid off. I believe this. The side joke in the Family, as there always is one, was whoever was able to guess the date of the birth of the expectant prince would get the 'pot'. Cash was irrelevant at this time in my life, I had just dropped a ton of coin to rebuild my life, I wanted legacy; let the prize be the name. She had decided that the middle name would be Adam, after our grandfather and the first was undecided. I begged her to let me name him Sam. As his full initials would spell out his first name i.e. S.A.M., I thought that would be FIERCE. She would have nothing of this plan, thinking that it would be appalling to name her child Sam Adam(s). She wouldn't have her prince the but of beer jokes. Maybe she couldn't own up to the fact the baby was born under a veil of beer why not document it? Either way, I didn't get the name or the cash. My family.............anyway, Colin is One and beautiful.My other nephews(non blood) were born on the 27th. Let me explain. I started my life on the west coast (is it one word yet?) in 2001 with a series of small jobs. As the dust settled I searched for a job that I vowed would be "The Last Restaurant I Would Ever Work In Before I Was Successful In The Industry". That's a mouthful, I know. But I meant it. I was determined that I would cultivate a healthy relationship with a restaurant that would negate all the bad ones' prior. I would lay down the law, the sword and the bullshit; all intermittently. I met Robin Hood at this time. You can track him down on my other blog for some history. But Rob and I had each other's backs at 'hello'. It's amazing what the east coast breeds. Oh, now I remember, class. Rob and his lady Kris asked me to marry them, and we did. A most beautiful day. And then we watched their lives grow towards kids. And it did. They had a hell of time getting there, but they did (side note, I was living with them, sitting in our living room at the time, when they got the word from fertility Doctor Hatch-no lie-that they were pg). The pregnancy was met with adversity and lots of prayer. Lots of soup and lots of love went into this birth, it took a village this time around. When I held these two little preemies in my hand I couldn't believe how small Life could be, and how big at the same moment. My friends, the parents, were beyond exhausted at this point, but had achieved the most incredible goal I've yet to witness firsthand. These babies were slightly bigger than corn cobs when we met. Today I got to see them with fifty two weeks under there soon to be Prada belts. Amazing. The only atrocity involved was how I had to see them. Goofy's Kitchen. I can't say any more as it was tough. The lengths we go to for friends.
There's many things to celebrate every month just heading towards December, I feel like we're just filling in the spaces of some karmic bingo card. I will cover all the spaces, I don't even need to win, as long as I'm in the running.
PS My family could send more pictures. I wouldn't mind it.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Sebbeth Heaven.
The Sebbeth this month wil be a tribute of sorts. Darren and AnnMarie will tie the knot in Anguilla, BWI. Never before invited to a wedding in the Carribean, I rsvp'd promptly. Those who know me know I am no good at prompt response. Prompt response. Prompt response. Animanipia. Tangent. The dense gaul of my fine friend to enslave friends and family to come to this Extreme Wedding Edition is ginormous but the fact that there was no return postage provided on the response card was beyond. It really was the turd olive in the urine martini. Maybe that's harsh. It's raining and I'm surly.
Prompt response. Prompt response. So I've bought the madras plaid, the linen clam diggers and the sunscreen. I celebrate my road to forty in a tribute to love. Love that makes you cross continents and credit cards. Love of a man from New Orleans and an Italian princess. Darren and I met at a mutual friends birthday party five years ago. Darren used to babysit my co-workers at a little irish pub in Santa Monica after their shifts. He's now gone legit and babysitting people's bigger money. When we met, we had heard much of each other. He had just come from a wedding of a stranger and his date was lost at the party. I had decided to go out and be social for a change. The mutual admiration society was made that night. My rye friend is quite the metrosexual and to find this little 'playa' settling down, I'm beholden. So off to Anguilla (just learned how to say it, an-GEE-uh) to a destination wedding. Sounds like heaven, smells like cocoa butter.
Prompt response.
Prompt response. Prompt response. So I've bought the madras plaid, the linen clam diggers and the sunscreen. I celebrate my road to forty in a tribute to love. Love that makes you cross continents and credit cards. Love of a man from New Orleans and an Italian princess. Darren and I met at a mutual friends birthday party five years ago. Darren used to babysit my co-workers at a little irish pub in Santa Monica after their shifts. He's now gone legit and babysitting people's bigger money. When we met, we had heard much of each other. He had just come from a wedding of a stranger and his date was lost at the party. I had decided to go out and be social for a change. The mutual admiration society was made that night. My rye friend is quite the metrosexual and to find this little 'playa' settling down, I'm beholden. So off to Anguilla (just learned how to say it, an-GEE-uh) to a destination wedding. Sounds like heaven, smells like cocoa butter.
Prompt response.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Portrait of Dorian Grey.
I'm waiting for the sedative to take flight as I've had me a fright. I'm racing towards forty and there's something I need to get off my chest. A grey hair.
I saw this happen on a "Will and Grace" but really didn't know what to do. They used it as a side gag. I was sideways gagging. When I came out of the shower this morning I noticed that my manly chest pate had one white knight in the forest. A grey hair was there. That ain't cool. That ain't going to sell it when you're shirtless at a Gay Pride. What exactly is this indicative of? Oblivion? I was non plussed. I went bald with a fair amount of grace. I shaved my head in the surrender to the only recession anyone will admit to. And I have also cleverly admired the hints of salt and pepper that have come around on my head. I was not prepared for the grey hair.
I fell to the floor, I tend to do this a lot in dramatic effect, comedic timing and too much tequila. I put my hands on my face and pleaded with my vanity (both). "Please tell me that my dance isn't over", "Show me a sign that this will all work out. " As you know, my crazy side gets the better of me on occasion, and the vain side of me is more than skin deep, it's in my veins (yuk, yuk) I pulled out the clippers, as you know a shaved head and a set of balls is de regeur now a days. I was just about to manscape my chest when a little voice said, "I'm the only one here. If you eliminate me now, I'm just going to come back with more friends. Why not make me comfortable here and not see things so black and white. " The little voice then reminded me of my superior pectorals and other attributes, then faded into a Chaka Khan Medley involving, "I'm Every Woman". The clippers went back into the drawer and the chest hair got a little juzge; a little fluffing if you will.
That old grey hair just ain't what it used to be. I can accept it, Life has taught me patience. I'd rather show patience than be a patient. It's actually kind of Tom Selleck-y. I almost plucked it, where was my head? Oh, thinning, that's right.
I saw this happen on a "Will and Grace" but really didn't know what to do. They used it as a side gag. I was sideways gagging. When I came out of the shower this morning I noticed that my manly chest pate had one white knight in the forest. A grey hair was there. That ain't cool. That ain't going to sell it when you're shirtless at a Gay Pride. What exactly is this indicative of? Oblivion? I was non plussed. I went bald with a fair amount of grace. I shaved my head in the surrender to the only recession anyone will admit to. And I have also cleverly admired the hints of salt and pepper that have come around on my head. I was not prepared for the grey hair.
I fell to the floor, I tend to do this a lot in dramatic effect, comedic timing and too much tequila. I put my hands on my face and pleaded with my vanity (both). "Please tell me that my dance isn't over", "Show me a sign that this will all work out. " As you know, my crazy side gets the better of me on occasion, and the vain side of me is more than skin deep, it's in my veins (yuk, yuk) I pulled out the clippers, as you know a shaved head and a set of balls is de regeur now a days. I was just about to manscape my chest when a little voice said, "I'm the only one here. If you eliminate me now, I'm just going to come back with more friends. Why not make me comfortable here and not see things so black and white. " The little voice then reminded me of my superior pectorals and other attributes, then faded into a Chaka Khan Medley involving, "I'm Every Woman". The clippers went back into the drawer and the chest hair got a little juzge; a little fluffing if you will.
That old grey hair just ain't what it used to be. I can accept it, Life has taught me patience. I'd rather show patience than be a patient. It's actually kind of Tom Selleck-y. I almost plucked it, where was my head? Oh, thinning, that's right.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Cinco De Mayo.
Holiday based in history as a military victory in Mexico, a full on excuse for people to relive Saint Patrick's day with more color options, more food options, and less class. The boozefest for all intensive purposes should be called Gringos De Mayo as the mexican people really don't celebrate the holiday full on. I hear it's like that in Ireland.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Rabbit, Rabbit.
The twelve days are going pretty quietly as a whole celebration. This is fine by me, don't get me wrong, whatever the universe gives me is cool by me. Granted I've had my typical LA day, failed the Notary exam (useless) and been thwarted by large swells to delay entering K-Dog's Hogwart's of Surfing Academy for fledgling Bra's. But to gain a surfboard from Girl P and her husband Mike, travel to Italy with the Countess to go to the BWI this coming month. I ain't bitching by any means, I'm just curious if forty will just be another number or if the Secrets Of The Ancients will be revealed to me one by one.
-Curious in Cali.
However Madonna's new album has me tapping my toes...................................
-Curious in Cali.
However Madonna's new album has me tapping my toes...................................
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