July 4th

To some people The Fourth Of July is a bad movie with Tom Cruise. To some it's an excuse to clean out their fridge. For some people, it's a national holiday and reason to barbeque and see family. Whatever your reason is today to celebrate the fourth, I hope you mark it well and surround yourselves with the best. I've done my fridge and now I'm off to surround myself with the very best fish.

Peace!

Here's some magic for you.

Today is 2 nd of July which means in a non-leap year, this is the middle day of the year. Day 183 with 182 more to come. Isn't that magical? I'm always pessimistic in terms of calendar time. I don't even realize June is gone before it is, and then when July comes I get all jaded because it's the seventh month and I have to mourn the first half of the year. Maybe that's me. I freak on strange things like that. But now that I know it's the middle day, I can take it a bit easier.



And more magic, today in history Vermont became the first US territory to abolish slavery. I noticed this because of two interesting facts. The year was 1777 and there were all my favorite numbers together. I'm always attracted to the shiny things whether it be texture or numerical. The mathematical magpie in me. And secondly it goes to show you how forward thinking those hill people can be. It gets cold in the winter, so they have plenty of time to think deep thoughts until the cable goes back on. I just think it incredible that Vermont was there first even before The Revolutionary War had completed and The Civil War hadn't even begun. Maybe they didn't need the slaves because they had plenty of children to delegate work to. It gets cold in the winter. Whatever the reason, that's magic there. Also in Vermont's corner don't forget they've given us civil unions, Howard Dean, and maple syrup. How sweet it is.

Rabbit, rabbit

Here we are again. Another month of merriment and mastercards. My hope's that we all have a safe holiday and a great summer. Please don't hold the M-80's over the baby carriage, lace burns so easily. Remember fire cracker safety; Firing crackers requires wide open spaces and an audience. Then you can fire a cracker safely. This blog is the most important guide to etiquette since Hoyle or Miss Manners, you can't deny this.

The sebbeth of July is TBD as there are new games to be played for the rest of the year. People are expressing interest in joining onto the 4D-Train of Joy and Silliness. This one wants to eat sushi off the male model, this one wants the tatoo, this one wants a sperm sample, what's a Bonn vivant to do first? Hire an assistant would be a good start. The assistant would run the productive and creative side of my life while I could totally lose myself in Facebook. I've totally been swallowed. It's so much better than MySpace, there's alot less sleaze and more reindeer games to play. Where's that damn assistant with my espresso?? Fie!

We have lots to look forwards to: Independence Day, Bastille Day, JC's BDay, Supermom's BDay (sebbeth bdays) and of course the blast that is a summer in CA. Tourism is like playing Whack-a-Mole at the fair. One pops up and you whack it for points and rapidly hit the next to better your score. There might be a more passive image I could have used but, Whack-a-Mole is satisfying on several levels. Rabbit, rabbit, here's to a great summer.

Dave and Liz.

If you haven't already heard the story of the Dave and Liz, cop a squat, expel all old gas and say, 'cheese'.

Dave and Liz approached me to officiate their June wedding. They had been referred by Meredith the Catering Director and local blogger up at the Malibou Lake Club. We met and were instantly charmed by one another. Liz was simply dressed and elegant in her beauty, Dave was well spoken indie kind of guy. Liz then proceeded to grill me on what was going to happen, how the ceremony would evolve, is there a back-up plan, how long had I been doing this, what special things we could do to involve the families, would it still be personal to them. She worked me pretty good this tiny little angel with the enormous "Big Book of Brides"; some sort of tome to tame time. She finally got to her bullet points, which I handled well and thought at this point we'd covered all the bases. We'd discussed tone, length, humor and heritage (Dave's Scottish) and got a good temp on the ceremony. The bride closes her book, piles her papers together, and slides the mass to the side. She folds her hands in front of her and looks me squarely and says:

Liz: I've saved this for last because this is the most important thing we want to ask you.

Tony: (Gulps) Sure, go ahead.

Liz: Since we'll be uniting with Dave's Family's Clan tartan...............Will you wear the kilt?

Tony: (Jaw on table, quickly tries to recover cool) Ummm........Sure?!

Liz: Ha Ha!! Fooled ya!

Dave: (High fives Liz) Good one hun, I didn't see that one coming.

She played me. She played me like she owned me. Well she kind of does now. She had me good.

Mind you during the interview we were trying to be cool as these sparrows were dive bombing us. One had a lock of Liz hair and another nearly blinded me. The day of their wedding Nature let us know that they were a part of this day too. Bees were swarming us during the vows. I told the happy couple to play it safe on their anniversaries lest the frogs fall from the sky like in Magnolia. It was a day.

I have two cute photos of them here. One sweet kissing, the other is what I call The Money Shot. It's one only the minister can take, and only for the couples with a sense of humor.

Banner News.

Gilbert Baker will be the Grand Marshall at this year's 38th annual NYC Pride Parade. Whom may you ask is Gilbert Baker? Why only the Gay Community's Betsy Ross. 30 years ago Mr Baker brought about an eight striped flag to show solidarity and acceptance of the diversity in the LGBT Community. The flag was simplified to six stripes some years later.

As one who has worn it as a tshirt, bumper sticker, umbrella, lapel pin, bathing suit, cummerbund/ascot, and cape I can't even tell you how proud it makes me to see our banner waving and feel the sense that we're one big family in the community. Thanks Mr Baker, and Happy Pride!!!!!

Apropos.

And funny considering the state of the nation.

Rabbit, rabbit.

If you don't know yet, I'm in the caribbean at Darren's wedding. I'm in Anguilla and I keep saying it wrong. An GWILL uh. I'm attending my first Destination Wedding. A DW is one of the most demanding favors to ask of your friends and family. "Hi, will you please go in to debt so that we may be cherished and adored in some exotic localle. PS we'll be expecting a little something from Crate and Barrell, tambien." "Mahalo, Bro." The DW was created by a vengeful event coordinator who was jilted at the altar. Only such a shrew would conceive of moving your loved ones to another part of the world, one that they more than likely will never return to, so that your vows may be exchanged. I want to see an episode of extreme weddings. I'm thinking paintball or landmines or something like that. I'm pulling your tin cans, this was an incredible event. I wouldn't have done anything differently.

The trip down was almost twelve hours. I was drugged and drooling but on the right side of the gate. The night before I left I couldn't sleep I was soo excited, so it made sense that I slept the way here. As you can see the view from my beach chair is pretty rad. I'll publish all the photos proper when I get back state side. That's fun to say. State side. The wedding has been an amazing event with more laughs than a convent with waxed floors. You heard me. They made incredible couple in a ceremony so special words barely describe. The church was open air kind of, cinder blocks and chicken wire made for a breezy easy feasty. The wedding began with our eyes straining to the doorway, waiting for the bride. A small child in pink dress, I think the church coordinator's daughter was lolly gagging there, unknowing. From outside the church Mom's massive arm pounced and yanked the daughter onto the sidelines out of the frame and almost out of the little girls sandles. Comedy and big laughs ensued. And hey, Zoe! You know how our laughs can be the cause of spectacle? Well, catch this one sister. During the ceremony the priest was about to bestow the church's blessing on the newly annointed couple when at the moment he was pronnouncing it a semi went by and blew it's horn. The timing impecible, I launched a big, "Huh, hah hah hah," of large decibles. It was chaos as the church rocked with laughter in response to it all. You above all will appreciate that.

I've known Darren for years now, but the wife and I have existed in the shadows to each other. I guess in my illustrious past, I'd met his wife, but don't recall. She's freaking beautiful and funny to boot. I shit you not. Seacrest (Darren) is a sardonic little bastard, with charm and looks to raise the dead. He was metro before Beckham, and in his own mind, a gay icon. How he got so lucky is beyond me. They light up each other's eyes and you really can't ask for much more. The celebration continued through the night at the Cuisinart Resort. Great food, good times and lot's of dancing. Innevitably the groom was thrown in the pool, clutching his cuban cigar. You know the drill, go big or go home. Actually we're doing it both. I can't wait to see my Amex bill. In the pix you'll see me with Amber , a groomsman's wife, and dancing with my new bff Chad and lady friend. Sandee. Congrats Seacrest and AM, If this is the launch, the flight will be tremendous.

Here's the complete gallery.